Lydia Chekov

texts / voicemails / complaints / screeds / anonymous hate messages

( Lydia Chekov. )

Joy. It's the time of year when the tourists show up and start driving the wrong way down the one way streets--how difficult is it to look at a sign?--and use up all the parking. I had to drive around the block for fifteen minutes today and still couldn't find a space to stop in at the post office. Next time I'm double-parking in front of the first car I see with out of state plates. And I'm taking the hearse.

The hearse broke down today. Sadly not on route to a burial. No, it broke down on the way to the H-mart gas station. I had to sit on the side of the road and wait almost an hour for AAA. To anyone who drove by and saw me waiting there and didn't stop to ask if you could help, I just want to say a hearty "fuck you". I wouldn't have stopped either, but fuck you regardless.

For fuck's sake. Can anyone in this town just be cool? Why do you all have to be so goddamn sensitive about everything?

This year's shaping up to be a good one in the drama department. Thanks for pitching in, everyone!

I'd like to thank all of you for pitching in and giving me the best Christmas present. Hallmark should make movies about the amount of drama going on right now. And it's more than I could have asked for, and coming from so many places! Marriages being torn apart! Hume fighting! Date auctions! Haughty newcomers shitting on all you hold dear! Even Cody's getting in on it!

All we're missing right now is some classic Chalker drama. It's been quiet over there lately. You guys are laying low. No fair. Come out and play with the rest of us. In the meantime, I'll be over here, soaking all of this in. And wondering how to make it even more interesting.

I've been watching a lot of reality tv lately and it's got me thinking about our dinky little town. A reality crew would really liven this place up. We could pit families against each other! Maybe for prizes, but mostly for entertainment. Do we even have any family-against-family rivalries in this town? I'm talking Capulets vs. Montagues here, not one person hating another person who they're not related to. Mostly I just see and hear about a lot of fighting within families and that sad part about that is a lot of it is behind closed doors. BOR-ING.

Let's start some epic hatred that spans generations. I'll gladly volunteer the Chekovs against a family to start with. We can set the standard and the rest of you can raise the bar from there.

Any volunteers?

I keep hearing about drama but I'm not really seeing it. Are you guys getting better about hiding that kind of thing under private entries? That's incredibly unfortunate. What else am I supposed to do for indoor entertainment this summer? Guess I'll have to stick to dressing dead bodies and making fun of tourists. Pity.

I am an actress.

I'm going to audition for a play.

Oh my god, everyone in this town is getting SUPER pathetic with all these whiny-ass blog posts. Is it because it's seasonal affective disorder winter holiday suicide time or what?

eye rolllllllllllllllllllll

I hate wrapping presents. Christmas sucks.

Older brother, please don't date my old friends from middle school, kthxbai.

Watching this Chalker meltdown unfold is entertaining as hell, especially after a boring summer. Thanks guys! Don't ever change.